19th Century Women

Nov. 14, 1851

            Some of my friends make singular blunders.  They go out of their way to talk with certain young women of whom they think, or have heard, that they are pretty, and take pains to introduce me to them.  That may be a reason why they should look at them, but it is not a reason why they should talk with them.  I confess that I am lacking a sense, perchance, in this respect, and I derive no pleasure from talking with a young woman half an hour simply because she has regular features.  The society of young women is the most unprofitable I ever tried.  They are so light and flighty that you can never be sure whether they are there or not there.

            Now at first glance this quotation does not seem likely to endear HDT to some readers -- particularly female, especially of the feminist persuasion.  (You go, girls!)  But let's consider the occasion.  Here's a quotation from Etiquette for Ladies: With Hints on the Preservation, Improvement, and Display of Female Beauty, published by Lea and Blanchard, Philadelphia. 1838-1840.  [Thanks to this blog for doing the legwork.]

            Men frequently look with a jealous eye on a learned woman, and are apt to denominate her a blue; be cautious, therefore, in a mixed company of showing yourself too much beyond those around you. To a mind well formed there is more real pleasure derived from the silent consciousness of superiority, than in the ostentatious display of it . It is possible to be silent, and yet not dull,—the silent eyes are often a more powerful conqueror than the noisy tongue; but be not, therefore, apparently careless to the conversation of others,— es the eyes can tell whether you are absent or not, although the mouth gives no audible token of presence.

So let me suggest that what Thoreau has disdain for is the 1850 version of American womanhood -- not especially well-educated and restricted by both fashion and manners -- and that this quotation actually reveals an underlying respect for women.


            One last anecdote, from a Caroline Dall, "author, journalist, lecturer and champion of women's rights, was a Unitarian community service worker, minister's wife and lay preacher (June 22, 1822-December 17, 1912)".   Thoreau initially refused an invitation to hear Ms. Dall lecture, since, according to Emerson "he says women never have anything to say".  But HDT not only ended up attending the lecture, he invited Dall to spend the next day at his home, with himself, his mother and his sister -- a day "filled to the brim with charming talk", according to Ms. Dall.